I don't know

Ok so I have been sitting here for ages trying to think of something profound to write but I really can't think of anything.

My day has been quite busy so I am feeling quite tired, maybe that's why I can't think straight. I spent half my day working in the church office with my eldest daughter (M) and much to my amazement she behaved really well. I left my 2 year old (L) with my husband. I got home and 30mins later was ready to walk out the door again. My house was destroyed, after spilling coconut over the floor L decided while washing her hands Mummy would want soap everywhere. She then decided Mummy would want the floor cleaned with wipes and easy off bam (note to self get lock for cupboard) back to washing hands again. M then decided to fight with L over toys which of course ended with lots of screaming. It is safe to say kids were driving me nuts. Some nights bed time can't come quick enough and tonight was one of those nights.

I love my children dearly but some nights i would willingly give them away. My two year old screamed (yes screamed not cried) herself to sleep this evening and my six year old went to bed in the midst of threats. Not such a happy night in my house.

As I sit here in the quiet browsing the Internet though I realise how incomplete my life would be without them.

Close friends of ours lost their beautiful daughter earlier this year. She was stillborn. I could not imagine the pain that they went through, and are still going through. Every moment I have with my children I am blessed to have. For every moment they push me, exhaust me, challenge me and drive me insane there are a million more moments where they love me, make me smile, make me laugh and make me cry.

I am so incredibly grateful that I have been Lucky enough to experience the joy of having these girls in my life.

I know sometimes as parents we feel like we are at the end of our rope with our children, but really we are incredibly lucky to have them.

Maybe next time you want to give them away, close your eyes, take a deep breathe and remember the moments of happiness and joy that your children give you. The love that knows no bounds.


Another thought that has hit me today.....................................

God loves us as his children, I wonder how many times God has felt at the end of his rope with us. I know he would have with me several hundred times over.

But surely the unconditional love I feel for my children, the love that knows no bounds, that would do anything to protect them, that would stand in front of a bullet for them, is the same love God has for me. Pretty phenomenal thought.

Anyway that's it for now

Until next time