Submit??????????

Ok so I wanted to share with you a little bit of the journey God has been taking me on of late. The things that he has been showing me that I need to change.

Recently Corey ( my senior pastor) blogged on Men, and the fact that for too long Men have taken a back seat in life and that they need to step up and be strong leaders, you can read it here.

I agree with this blog whole heartedly and I do believe that the men of this generation need to step up. This however for me has opened up a whole can of worms. I am one of those women who has taken over the headship role in our home. Most of you who know me, will know that I am not exactly a quiet submissive person. I am loud and dominating. I know that biblically Dan should be the head of our home, but this is a role I have never seen hum take on, or more so take on in the way I think it should be done, so I instead have taken this role on.

God is showing me that i need to submit this role back to Daniel and that I need to respect him as my husband. Now before I go any further I am not a hugely biblical knowledge person, and I am not saying this is the case for everyone. I am just sharing what God has said to me for my situation.

So giving this authority back to Daniel is a huge challenge for me, I like being n control. I like things done my way, and I DO NOT like submitting to authority. (just ask God) So i immediately have my safe answers to fire back at God.
1. If Dan wants this role he needs to take it on.
2. If he treated me right then I would respect him more
3. I am a more spiritual person than he, so how can he be the spiritual leader.

Well never have a smart answer for God because he will always have one that is smarter. God is kinda like that, when you think you are clever he just proves that he knows more and better than you do, so why fight it.

God basically said this to me (my wording)
1. why would Daniel take on a role that is already being filled?? If you keep doing it for him why would he step up?? Answer 1 has just been shot down.
2. Maybe if you showed him the respect you should show him as your husband, he would have the opportunity to treat you in all the ways you deserve to be treated. Answer 2 has now been shot down. Ahh but I still had number 3 up my sleeve.....
3. Just because he is not a spiritual as you does not mean he should not be the spiritual head of your home. I am not going to leave your family just because you feel it is less spiritual. But remember, I see his heart, not you, just because it's not done your way does not mean it's not right. Well answer 3 had just been shot down.

So where to from here?? Well for me personally submission is an every day decision that I need to make. Trust me most days I do not make it, but I am trying. This does not mean that I can not have an opinion or that I become a doormat. It does mean that I give my husband the authority and respect he deserves. Sometimes I can see that the decision he is making will not work and it will be a mistake. I need to learn to let him make those mistakes and to learn from them. And that when things go wrong not to condemn him and say "I TOLD YOU SO" (my fave lines) but actually to help him fix the mistake and move forward both as a couple and a family.

So anyway this has been a very long post. Just a quick version of what is going on in my head.

Until next time
xx

My Beautiful Birthday Girl...

It was my beautiful daughter Mikayla's 8th Birthday yesterday. The celebrations seem to be going on and on forever (they Started on Saturday)

I spent some time yesterday reflecting on what a precious gift this little girl has been in my life.

I was 18yrs Old when I got pregnant with Mikayla, I was in a very destructive, emotionally and sexually abusive and really just unhealthy relationship at the time. I was drinking a lot, not eating much and living in a caravan in Perth. I had told my family that I never wanted to see them again.

I will never forget finding out I was pregnant with Mikayla, I had discussed the fact that I had thought I was pregnant with my partner and it was decided if I was that a termination was the only option. I had no idea were to go and what to do and we had no money. I ended up going to the family planning clinic, they did a test which very quickly came up positive. I then discussed the options I had and was booked in for a termination. As I sat on the bus more and more it became clear to me that I could not go through with an abortion. Anyways I am rambling, long story short I made the decision to have this baby no matter what the cost. Through a series of circumstances I contacted my parents and told them I was pregnant. They took the news slightly better than I expected them to. I had been unwell so I decided to fly back to Melbourne to stay with my mum for a short period, just to get me through the first trimester.

Coming home is a huge story in itself that maybe I Will blog about another time.

While I was back in Melbourne I really started to reassess my life. I realised I could not bring a baby into the relationship I was in and that I needed to start making some tough decisions,. What does all this have to do with my baby girl I hear you thinking.

Well I made the decision to stay in Melbourne. I moved on with my life and I started to grow up. I had amazing family support but if it had not been for her, I am not sure where I would be today. Sometimes I feel like she saved my life.

Since the day she was born she has brought me so much joy. She makes me laugh and makes me cry. I am so immensely proud of this girl. She is smart and bright and happy and everyone seems to love her. Yes she has attitude but she is my daughter after all, what would you expect. She is the thing that changed me and turned my life around. I love her with all my heart.

Mikayla you are a beautiful princess who has been created so perfectly by God. I love you and I am so so so proud of you.

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX