We decided to do a crazy thing and take our kids to a packed Phillip Island for the day.

We had a blast with lots of driving, food, walking, fun, sand and just general family time.

This is so out of the ordinary for us to do something like that, but it was so nice just to get out of the norm, spend time with the kids and have the focus on fun, not on life.



Mikayla got a new digital camera for her christmas so I am uploading the photo's that she took, just to be different. After looking at them we noticed she had a fingerprint on the lens. I love them anyways. She is actually not too bad at taking pics, I will post some of her other shots later.

Reality check.......

I am feeling rather crappy at the moment.

I have been emotional over the past few days and maybe that's why I am feeling the way I am , I don't know.

I feel kinda lost at the minute.

I keep talking about facing reality and being real with people, but the honest truth is I don't want to face my reality. I am scared of what will happen, of not being able to keep it together if I do, of what people will think if I really do reveal the inner thoughts. I have perfected this image of someone who struggles with life as we all do but is really doing ok. My reality is far from that. It's about as opposite to that as you can get.

My reality is this, I am so completely overwhelmed by my life at the moment that i feel like I am barley able to breathe. I feel like my head is just above water but at anytime could slip under and I would be gone. Our home which is meant to be our safe haven is barley fit for human habitation ( I am serious). I have washing coming out of my ears. I feel like my Kids are out of control. I feel like I have a husband who doesn't really love me. Due to some issues we have had, I don't even trust him fully and find myself questioning everything he does. I am currently pregnant with our third child and every day feel the fear rising more and more as to how in the hell I am going to cope. To be totally honest some days I am not even sure I want this baby. There I said it. What kind of person am I huh.

So there you go a picture of my reality. I do not write this for people to respond with the "what can I do to help" or the " I feel sorry for you lines" I just thought that I keep talking about honesty it was about time I had some.

Until next time
xx

Procrastination.........

pro⋅cras⋅ti⋅nate

verb (used without object)

1.	to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

–verb (used with object)

2.	to put off till another day or time; defer; delay.

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Above is the dictionary.com meaning of the word procrastinate.


I have been called a procrastinator all my life, My father is one and I am too.

I have now officially made the decision I HATE the word procrastinate, I have realised (for me, I am not saying everybody) that I have used this label to hide my laziness.

At the moment I cannot be bothered doing my housework, I am being a lazy bum. I am being a complete slob and sitting on the computer instead. How much better does it sound when I say " I am a procrastinator and I am currently procrastinating the housework"

It's the same with assignments or work, often I would be up until all hours of the night typing essay's because I had been lazy, couldn't be bothered and had left them til the last minute. But you see people it was all ok because i am a procrastinator.

So you see, I have decided to take the word out of my vocabulary and stop labeling myself. I need to at least be honest with myself about what my reality is, not what I would like it to be.

I read this amazing quote the other day
"God often uses models to get his point across. Someone has to open up his/her life to others and say in various ways- this is where I am struggling, this is where i fell flat into failure and this is something I've learned and from which I have profited" -Gordon MacDonald

I don't even know who this dude is or what he has written but i liked the quote.

I have realised that it's true, We learn so much from not only our own mistakes, but from other peoples mistake and understanding and their learning.

For example I read Rachy's blog tonite and thru one of her particular posts I realised that I am not as boring or mundane as I thought.

So I want to open my life and share with you guys what I learn, not only the good, but the ugly and the bad and the failures.

I want to get real and be honest, maybe you whom read this will learn something from little old me.

For Now Until we meet again

xx